Well, it’s 10:45 pm and I finally have the presence of mind to sit down and blog. It’s been a long day teetering between being grateful that I’m home with my kids for the summer and hiding inside the broom closet in an effort to privately “meditate” myself into sanity. Today was especially whacky because I do work part-time from home and had a couple of projects in need of completion. My day went sort of like this: late waking up, late for orthodontist appointments, breakfast, work task, kids snack, work task, kids lunch, closet meditation break, work task, closet meditation break, kids snack (again), dinner, kids snack (again), walk, tried to finish work tasks (9 pm), closet meditation break, blog.
As I sat back and reflected on my day, I wondered why I felt the need to meditate in the closet – and, what would have happened without closet. Even two years ago, the kids needing to be fed would have rolled right off my back. In fact, being able to be home and cook for my family would give me a true sense of pride and purpose. Today I was praising school lunch and classroom snacks.
Then, tonight it came to me. The answer. Google. I found an old Oprah post online (http://www.oprah.com/spirit/What-Oprah-Knows-for-Sure-About-Menopause-and-Hormones) about her struggle with hormone imbalance and suddenly I did not feel alone. She was describing her symptoms and I could totally relate, while also finding explanations for issues I had not yet understood. Oprah also confirmed that meditating in the closet and heading out for a walk were the perfect ways to cope. Here is an except from her article:
“I started talking to more friends in their 40s and 50s, and soon we were all aha’ing each other. This is what some described: Anxiety. Fatigue. Low-grade depression. Lack of confidence, curiosity, drive, ambition. A sense of being overwhelmed. Feeling flat and dead and afraid. A general feeling of malaise.”
All of these things are true for me (TODAY!), especially the week before my period. Oprah also pointed out that she had a lack of focus, especially when it came to reading. I’ve always loved reading, but I have also had a terrible time focusing on a good book as of late.
I’m sharing all of this with you because I want to make sure you don’t feel alone – like I did today. And, it reminded me to stay on track in terms of figuring out how to balance my hormones by eating properly, exercising and continuing my prescribed hormone therapy. In reality, even with my kids at home this summer and trying to work – I should not feel overwhelmed. I’m only working part-time and my kids are both at an age where they pretty much manage themselves. Tomorrow, I will have the presence of mind to ask them to get their own snack. AHA!!!!